They say pregnancy is a magical journey and the joy of
bringing life into the world is second to none. Of course the end product of
producing a child which is half yours is simply amazing but my journey was
eventful to say the least! It’s been a whole month since labour day and as I’m
sat here in the humid weather, big maternity pants and sports bra with a
restless Penelope being as stubborn as me in not going to sleep, I haven’t
slept more than 2 hours at a time and have a painful C section scar and hair is
chucked up like a pineapple. I am as far as the usual glam queen you have seen
gracing your social media recently! So let me share with you my experiences of
the two sides of pageants and motherhood!
I spent a whole week in hospital, I was admitted two days
before my waters broke, it was a night of thunder (someone knew what was going
to happen!), and I was in the early stages of labour. Beforehand I had been
waddling around on crutches because of my SPD and throughout pregnancy I had to
deal with the morning sickness, the swollen feet and basically just all the
pain! So when my waters broke at 1 in the morning on the Tuesday (the day after
the royal baby was born!), there was relief that it was finally happening. By
6am it was time for the delivery suite and message my birthing partners. By
11am I was fully diualited and thinking amazing, I will be able to pop her out
and be home before evening and just relax….. how wrong was I! I had EVERYTHING,
gas and air was making me terribly sick, I hadn’t eaten since the day before
and kept crying about how hungry I was. Those screaming woman on the TV, that
was me all over, and not from miss pea making her way down (or rather getting
stuck in my cervix) but the extreme pain my hips were in. By the 17th
hour, after al the pain relief, needles and passing out between contractions, I
was wheeled off to theatre as Penelope was not moving an inch. As soon as they
numbed my body it was bless, I was out of pain and they put the screen up but it’s
a strange feeling when they are moving your organs around.
She was born officially at 18.08, they had to give her
oxygen and I just laid on the table in disbelief, waiting to hear that cry
which came after what seemed a lifetime. Then I could let the emotions come! I
hadn’t planned for a section and believe me the pain after it all wore off, it
made it hard to pick Penelope up and the wards were full of crying babies. I
broke down crying by day three I couldn’t handle the fact that I wasn’t getting
any sleep because of everyone elses babies, I was woken up every four hours for
blood and blood pressure tests, the morning needle jab in the thigh and when I finally
got my own room it was bless. I had my own bathroom, the first shower!!!! After
a week I was finally allowed to go home. I was blessed with visitors, my loved
ones bringing me food and pain killers! I was finally back in my own home at
least, even though it has stairs to just get into the place and I had a needy
dog who was not used to sharing!
My body had changed, my mind was going crazy with lack of
sleep and I’ve spent this month either being in bed or doing pageant related
things because I needed it for my mental health. My first appearance was at the
Miss Diamond finals which was basically spent mostly in the bathroom feeding
her. It was very draining but there were very long breaks inbetween the rounds
so if those were shorter I think the night would have been doable. She slept
through her next appearance at the Brunel VIP night as well as sleeping
throughout the parade! I’ve learned to dress differently (NO HEELS!) but also
breast feeding friendly outfits and breast pads have become my best friends and
im constantly surrounded by them!
When you give birth there are so many people
giving you advice or telling you off for
doing certain things and I am guilty of not giving myself enough rest time but
every one’s birth journey is different. Some woman can’t breastfeed, others like
myself can, as long as the baby is being fed! Penelope’s father doesn’t want
anything to do with her so I am both a mother and father to her, which is no
fault to Penelope and some people are lucky to have the father’s involved to
help with the childcare. She is surrounding by strong rolemodels and will have
all the love in the world, and even more when I get a full nights sleep!
When I entered YEMI at three months pregnant, I wanted to
show others that life doesn’t end as soon as you see those two lines. You adapt
with the change, and Penelope will be the most well travelled baby and will
learn all about the amazing things us pageant girls achieve and do! I will
teach her about charity, about giving to others and about having the confidence
to do whatever you want to do! Of course I would like her to follow on in my
footsteps and do pageants but I will support her in whatever she wants to do!!
Motherhood has been a journey for me, this last month has been physically and emotionally
draining but I wouldn’t change a thing (maybe reduce the hours of labour and
not have a big scar that’s pushed back my recovery time but beggars cant be choosers!).
We have so much more planned in my maternity and every day brings something different!
It’s also important to step back from everything and appreciate the moments. So
at 4am if I’m covered in sick and been peed on, my daughter’s little face
smiling (or maybe just gas) makes it all worth it.
YEMI has allowed me to compete whilst pregnant, and bringing
a two month with us to Texas, they support every single female in all forms of
diversity and everytime I wear my crown I am so proud to represent an amazing
system. I’m looking forward to Texas, my first trip to America and I will be
spending it with some amazing people. Let’s all hope we all bring those
international crowns home, we can do this TEAM UK!!
P.S Who can be mad at that face!!!
Lots of love
Hannah Golding
Young European International Ms 2017/18
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